Keep your beard: A letter to The Age
I’M NOT SHAVING, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!
This morning I opened my Facebook to have several friends send me an article asking, “Is it time to shave off the beard?”
“I don’t like your beard” isn’t something I’m used to. When I walk down the street I hear “what an amazing beard you have” and “you look like Chet Faker, your beard is unreal”. I’m a busy man working full-time and running a business – us bearded people are busy and focused – yet I was so worried about the lack of beard love that I decided to respond to the article published in The Age today titled “Is It Time To Shave?“.
IS IT TIME TO SHAVE THE BEARD OFF?
No. No, it’s not. It never will be. I’m not one to do conspiracy theories, but is it a coincidence that, now that beards are everywhere, shaving companies are doing everything to try convince men to shave to prop up their business?
DO BEARDED MEN REALLY GET LESS SEX? DOES THIS EVEN MATTER?
To make the assumption that all women hate beards is ignorant, like most of the comments of the unnamed expert (let’s call him #babyface).
Let’s use Dan Bilzerian as an example to your theory. Dan is followed by 5.5 million people on Instagram (@danbilzerian), known for his beard, millions of dollars, good looks, physique and never short of female company. Dan doesn’t seem to have a problem in this department, and even if you don’t agree with his ways, it proves #babyface’s comments are wrong. Many famous people of today are sporting beards, and women/men are swooning over them!
BEARDED MEN HAVE MARRIAGE PROBLEMS?
As someone who grew up with a father who had a beard and has been married to my mother for 30 years. I know bearded men can go the distance.
My mother called me the other day sounding distressed, that my father had secured a great position. “That’s great news mum, but you sound upset” I said. Mum replied “he has to shave his beard off though”. My mother hasn’t known my father without it and doesn’t want the beard to go.
My mother has been even more pro beard since my father has been using TheGroomedManCo. Beard Oils. I have had many customers make comment about how the great smell hasn’t gone unnoticed on a date, a night out, a special night in and while out and about (even a dentist made comment about the alluring smell coming from his patient’s beard). I’ve even had one customer go on a date because his beard oils were delivered to his neighbour who had to deliver them to him. A conversation starter about beards and beard oil turned into a date!
TheGroomedManCo. Beard Oil will get you more marriage proposals! Please document all sexual encounters though, because that’s what counts right?…
SHAVING IS EXPENSIVE AND HIGH MAINTENANCE, NO SHIT!
I remember having to shave when I was a teenager. I look back at my photos and see one thing. Razor-burn. Every picture my throat was red raw and looked like a swarm of bees has attacked my throat. Shaving is time consuming, expensive and results in bumps, cuts and ingrown hairs which stand out and there’s nothing you can do about it. Oh, you can spend another $60-$100 on some post shave balm that claims to work but never did. No one ever cut themself on a beard, but I do remember taking a chunk out of my lip with a razor as a child, curiosity got the best of me. The cost of shaving can cost hundreds of dollars a year.
In saying that, beards do require maintenance and the results are more rewarding. It is important to keep your beard looking its best. Washing it with shampoo twice a week and the other days using a conditioner to minimise stripping the hair of its natural oils, will keep your beard looking majestic and remaining clean ($10 a month max). Beard Oil is the perfect conditioning product for the beard, restoring softness and shine, moisture reducing dry skin and itchiness, improving hair strength while preventing hair damage and promoting overall health of the beard. They also make your beard smell damn good. For only $30AUD, TheGroomedManCo. Beard Oil will last up to 12 weeks and is the essential product for a great beard.
DID YOU JUST JOKE ABOUT MOVEMBER? REALLY? WHERE’S YOUR COMMON SENSE?
OK, let’s not put cancer and sex jokes in the same arena as one another. Prostate cancer, men’s related health problems and mental illness isn’t something to joke about. Whether you like facial hair or not, there is no denying the amount of funds and awareness the Movember foundation has raised over the years and no doubt saved thousands of lives in the process.
We have all been touched by cancer in one form or another, and Movember has been a genius movement that will no doubt change thousands of lives in the years to come. That’s all I have to say about that!
It’s not too late to donate www.movember.com.au
THE REASON WHY I HAVE A BEARD?
Ask a bearded person why they have a beard, and their stories are different. Some grew it because it gives them more confidence, some get more compliments, and some just want to be bearded. Here are some reasons from bearded men on @thegroomedmanco Instagram.
I leave the final word to my customers, a glorious bunch of men who have seen the beard light and won’t be shaving anytime soon…
I’ve had one since 1996, it’s just who I am! @lumbersexual
I was a late bloomer when it came to growing any facial hair. When it started to grow, it grew in very patchy so I was stuck with a goatee. About 3 years ago, I was in a place where I didn’t care about cutting my hair and that’s when my beard started to grow. I haven’t cut it off since. It helps me feel confident in who I am and what I can do. @jbigs007
Gives more definition and character to the face, as well as style. @urieloooo
It catches all the ice cream from my ice cream cone! @larryvallejo
Completely changes the structure of my face! Without it I look way too young with no jawline. Plus, I think I look hot with it and always get compliments. @85p
The compliments I can class it up with a suit and tie or keep it real at the gym! @beardwithaguy
It’s part of my faith to God. I look like a girl without a beard! @gill.r
Keeps my face warm and makes me look a little older, which is what I want! @coffeeboy7
I started growing my beard when my sexy lady told me “grow your beard and we will have kids”. With that being said, i thought a beard is a powerful statement. What also contributed to my decision was the movie ‘300’, the leader had a great beard. Lastly, @danbilzerian, just take a look at his life and you would understand. @tyvon_sterling
Brings out my ruggish brute haha. Having a beard has helped me feel more like myself. Helped me love myself as a hairy, scruffy fella. That being scruffy could be a beautiful thing. @scruffstag
Basically a case of why not? I have been growing it for 5 years and decided to stay with it long after a few years! @handlebar_ii
I love being asked if I grew it because of duck dynasty! @thetylerhuffman
Seeing people stroke my beard with their eyes… @damo_key_yeah_za
Constantly being called a ‘Boston Red Sox Player’. Just kidding. It just feels good to separate yourself from the clean shaven or the baby stubble crowd. @thebrutebrody
The fact that my boss hates it as much as my boyfriend loves it. @brianisvever
In case of an emergency I always have my beard to rely on. @davidwtks
I look at pictures of myself without a beard, and I just can’t ever imagine why I didn’t have one before. It gives me more confidence. @declarke85